Swan Song to My Ugly Kitchen

I fell in love with my house despite the hideous kitchen that came with it. I could see past the cracked and melted 1960’s brown linoleum floor, off-level mis-matched cabinets, and very little counter space, to see a great space with gorgeous lighting. We would have renovated the kitchen right away if the house didn’t also come with a bathroom with no indoor shower, and a wedding to pay for. Needless to say, I’m very excited for this renovation!

This is how it looked when we saw the house before we purchased it:


And this is what it looked like up until recently:


Check out that sweet surge protector under the window where the previous owner plugged in the stove. We added a dishwasher and extra lighting out of necessity, but the kitchen has been largely untouched knowing that someday this kitchen would be no more. We just didn’t know it would take so long to get here.

Last weekend I got some good use out of the kitchen before packing everything up. I made my grandmother’s Irish Soda Bread, corned beef and cabbage (since we will not have a working kitchen on the 17th), and my Maple Bacon Cupcakes for a cupcake bake-off at work. I have zero emotional attachment to the kitchen, despite having spent so much time in it over the last three years. As I moved bowls and ingredients back-and-forth from my makeshift island to the two little sections of counter space, I imagined what it will be like to make the exact same dinner and cupcakes in my future kitchen. The picture of an 8 foot island with a built in trash can was almost sensual compelling enough to drown out the sound of the real-life cabinet behind me popping open.

We finished packing everything up this weekend and I find that I’m having a really hard time figuring out how to mentally prepare myself for the next step: the actual renovation. How can I prepare myself for something when all I keep hearing is how stressful they can be, especially when renovating a main room in the house, like a kitchen.

Plus, the only time in my life that I didn’t have a personal kitchen was in college, and I still made meals in the common kitchen areas and in my dorm room as much as I could. We’ll be eating out a lot and I really don’t want to gain weight because I can’t cook my own meals. How exactly does one prepare oneself for having to live on takeout, and potentially unseen stressors that could wreak havoc on the renovation’s bottom line lurking behind the walls, or under the floorboards.


There are boxes stacked in towers all around our upstairs, and what is essentially a <500 ft2 apartment without a kitchenette. Right now there like two spots in the whole house where I can put something out of the reach of the Maeve so she can’t eat it. The cats are the only ones enjoying this new living arrangement. They can play “The Floor is Lava” in the living room, front hallway, and essentially the whole upstairs, chasing each other over cabinet boxes, furniture, and kitchen storage boxes, without ever touching the floor. They also love our new “couch”:


Yes, those are actual couch cushions propped up along the wall there. Above you’ll find my sad attempt at maintaining some semblance of  normalcy while we live among chaos for the next “minimum of four weeks,” according to our contractor.

Real talk: I’m just over here feeling triggered by the idea of gaining weight again from not being able to cook healthy meals for myself, all the while feeling like the walls are closing in around me as the boxes stack higher and higher…


…and I just got a text message from our contractor, following up on the email he sent 17 minutes ago, telling us he’ll be starting tomorrow morning before 8 AM. It’s happening!!!!


In other news, I’m clearly menstrual, and Daylight Savings Time can eat a bag of dicks.

Happy Sunday!

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